My Arms Race

My sisters and I joke that we've inherited fat arms. We so want to have these beautiful, sculpted arms that stand out with a sleeveless top. I remember even in 4th grade, after hours and hours of swim team, I stood in the Phantom Lake Pool girls locker room and looked carefully at my arms. I distinctly remember thinking, "Look at that! My arm muscles are starting to show! I'm getting strong!" Unfortunately, they must have been at their very best that day, or perhaps the lighting was just so, to bring out those deltoids and biceps and triceps, that I didn't see an improvement in those arms for the rest of the summer. Now that I'm in a rigorous exercise routine, I'm back to checking out my arms and making plans with my coaches at the IC on how to build stronger, more sculpted arms. I must say, that they are currently looking more toned than I think they've ever been since that summer day when I was 9. It's very motivating.
Another source of motivation is today's Ice Chamber video. The woman featured is on Chris's 0900 team and I've seen her do a bootcamp workout. She makes it look easy. She appears to do all of the reps of every exercise and with great strength and grace. Here, she's featured modeling good push up form. Mara's Push Ups

One day we can post a video of me on this blog doing push ups just as well.
My real goal, however, is to bench press my children, one on each arm. As the days pass, they are not getting any lighter. It is the true assignment of diligence to work on my arm strength before they get too heavy. Thus, I will officially call it, "My Arms Race."

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

It's like they know I'm in a transitional state. As each day passes, the boys reach for me more, ask for me more and hold on to me tighter when I lean to hand them over to Chris or Ixchel(our nanny). It's getting more and more difficult to get any work done. I have three weeks to go, a to do list that is very long and the clock is ticking away. I know that I've said that it's okay not to finish everything, but finishing up my work in a professional way is something that I must finish. I take pride in my work, believe in what I've established at my job, and hope to leave it better than how I found it.
Hopefully, on my last day of work in three weeks, I won't have completely lost my marbles from burning the candle at both ends.

Work

Today I GO to work. I must leave the house to go and proctor state testing. I'll be out three days this week. Yes, commuter moms would say to me, "cry me a river Nancy, go call whine-11," but to me it is a big deal. It will be a good experience for me to have to remind me of why I want to be at home. Time to go take a shower, get ready, pack lunch, pack the pump, pack my bag and get going!

Strength and Courage

Props to the Ice Chamber for giving me the strength and the courage to help me find myself. I've always had an athlete in me, I just haven't always had the motivation or the time to nurture it. In February 2009 I stayed up late one night, sitting on the couch, glancing at the TV and browsing the web, trying to figure out what to do with my lost self. I'm not sure how I came back to it, but I landed on the home page of the Ice Chamber, a gym that I'd heard about after having my first baby. It looked hard core, it required discipline and commitment. After thoroughly digesting the website, I decided it was just the thing to shake things up a bit and I made my financial commitment right away, in the middle of the night(they are all set up with pay pal for impulsive infomercial sucker types like myself - smart business plan!). I then followed up with an e-mail to my husband explaining what the plan was so that when I woke up the next morning I'd have a record of what the heck I was thinking the night before. Three months later, I'm 9 pounds and 4% body fat lighter, a size smaller, and so much stronger in body AND mind. An added bonus is that my husband has joined me in this venture and we now spend our dinners comparing notes about what was fun and what was painful about morning bootcamp. I'm jealous that he's able to do two pull ups more than I can, but I'm certain that I'll catch up. There's no stopping me and there's no looking back. Finding the athlete in me again has been rejuvenating and I honestly think that seeing myself gain physical strength and endurance has given me some of the courage that it took to quit my job. I know that I have the mental ability to get through challenges and I also know that I have my daily workouts to look forward to.
Thanks Chris for cheering me on and thanks to the folks Ice Chamber for being so positive, so supportive and so athletic!

Testimonials to my first exciting efforts are here:
http://icechamber.com/blog/2009/05/02/more-kb-graduates/
http://icechamber.com/blog/2009/03/27/meet-your-competition/

Good for You!!!

I don't know any other stay at home moms near me. I live in the Bay Area, where it is expensive to live and not many can just choose to stay home and not make a second income to support the family. Additionally, the economy is not so good right now. People are struggling to pay the mortgage, lay offs are common and belt tightening to pay for the rise in grocery and utility bills is universal. So, when it comes to me saying, "hey, I'm quitting my job," the responses are not as overwhelmingly positive as one might think they should be, given how great it is. What makes me most uncomfortable is the feeling of dollar signs that seem to appear in the eyes of the person I just told. It's like I have money hanging out of all of my pockets by the way that they look at me. Thankfully, my husband makes enough money that we can do this, but it doesn't happen without a budget. I'm probably extra sensitive about it because I'm sensitive about money, but I definitely get a strange vibe. It makes me feel uncomfortable about telling people that I'm not going to work. The responses are too unpredictable: "nice for you!" "Do I congratulate you or tell you
I'm sorry?" "oh......(silence)" I just don't know what to do with some of these responses because really, all I want to hear is "good for you!"
There are also many moms who look forward to getting out of the house to go to work every day. It does feel very nice to go to a child free environment where you can get things done without interruption, go to the bathroom whenever you feel like it and eat sitting down. "I could never stay home" is a common thread among working moms and I totally get it. Understanding my choice to be at the mercy of my two year old when I'm exhausted and stir crazy is probably difficult to figure. Addressing how I handle that will have to be another post...after I figure it out. The bottom line is that I need to find other moms in my situation. If I'm going to do this well without losing my marbles, I'll need to set up a local support system. And when I meet the other marvelous mommies who have decided to stay home with their kiddos, the first thing they'll hear from me is, "good for you!"